Stop Worrying About Other People’s Opinions

Inspired by The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins

This BLOG is an extract from my Career Book Club Podcast, where we explore real strategies for thriving in your career. Each week I share key lessons from some of my favourite career and personal development books, plus real-world stories and practical coaching tips so you can put the ideas into action.

I know some people prefer reading to listening, so I pull the highlights into my BLOG. I hope you enjoy reading — and if you’d like to share some of your favourite books, please get in touch. I love a good recommendation.

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Introduction

There’s a sentence I wrote in the margin of Mel Robbins’ Let Them Theory that stopped me in my tracks:

“I’ve spent more of my career worrying about what other people will think… than asking myself what I actually want.”

And when I really sat with that — it made my stomach twist. Because this fear is sneaky.
🔹 We tell ourselves we’re being considerate.
🔹 We tell ourselves we’re being professional.
🔹 We tell ourselves we’re “just being realistic.”

But often?

🔹 We’re filtering.

🔹 We’re shrinking.

🔹 We’re self-editing.

And we’re building careers designed around someone else’s imagined opinion.

This is where Mel’s Let Them Theory has teeth — especially in career decisions.

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The Core Problem: We Try To Control The One Thing We Can’t Control

There are only three things I can actually control:

1. what I think

2. what I do

3. how I process my emotions

There is one thing I absolutely cannot control: WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK

Yet the fear of their opinion is often the thing that dictates our choices. We tell ourselves if we play it safe, everyone will approve. We tell ourselves if we avoid saying the wrong thing, we’ll be respected. We tell ourselves if we don’t rock the boat, we’ll be liked.

But here’s the truth Mel says bluntly — and she’s right: Even the people who adore you will sometimes have negative thoughts about you.

You’ve done it too.
You love someone… and think: “ugh, why do they do that?” It has nothing to do with whether you love them. It’s just being human.

So if even the people who love me will have negative thoughts sometimes anyway — why am I giving imagined negative opinions so much power?

And more importantly:

Why am I letting those imagined opinions make decisions about my career for me?

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How We Self-Sabotage (Without Realising It)

The fear of other people’s opinions doesn’t always show up as “fear.”

It often shows up wearing a different outfit:

• perfectionism

• procrastination

• overthinking

• self-doubt

• endlessly “preparing” but not acting

Those are often not productivity problems. They’re protection problems.

Protection against embarrassment, against criticism, against someone raising an eyebrow at you.

And when that fear is driving, you are not in the driver’s seat of your own career.

I’ve lived that.
More than once.

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The Story I Still Remember — Two Paths

Years ago I hit a career crossroads when I had a decision to make about two different paths I was considering for my career.

🔹 Path A was the “logical next step.” It built on what I’d already done. Everyone would have nodded approvingly and said: “that makes total sense.”

🔹Path B was the one that lit me up. It didn’t look linear. It wasn’t obvious. It would have required me to throw away everything I had already built — at least, that’s how it felt.

Plan A — I spoke about openly. I got validation. People backed it. It felt safe.

Plan B — I never even uttered aloud.

Why?

Not because I didn’t want it, but because I was terrified of what people would think. And so I took Path A.

It looked responsible…

…and I then spent two years in a role that made me miserable.

🔹It wasn’t a good fit.
🔹I wasn’t particularly good at it.
🔹I lost my sense of direction.
🔹I lost my spark.

And to this day — I wish I’d had the courage to at least explore Path B instead of pre-rejecting it because of other people’s imaginary opinions.

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Silence Is Also A Choice — And People Still Judge It

You may often choose to stay silent in meeting for fear of being judged, however people will also judge your silence!

I remember working with a senior manager who, when joining major-incident bridge calls with our client, would frequently introduce himself… and then immediately announce he was going on mute — and never speak again.

The client hated it. They read his silence as avoidance. They formed an opinion about him. His silence created a worse opinion than speaking ever would have.

That was when something clicked for me:

Whether you act or don’t act — people will still form an opinion.

So if they’re going to judge you anyway…

…you might as well speak up and be heard. Your voice is a valuable as any other in the room.

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The Let Them / Let Me Pivot

Here’s the shift Mel suggests — and this is the part that actually works in real life, not just in theory:

Let them think whatever they want.

And then…

Let me do what aligns with who I want to become.

🔹LET THEM think I’m too ambitious.
🔹LET THEM think my idea is ridiculous.
🔹LET THEM think I’m naive.
🔹LET THEM think I’m not ready.

Let. Them.

🔹LET ME speak up.
🔹LET ME take the stage.

🔹LET ME take the career turn that lights me up.

Let me live the life I want — not the one I think they expect.

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Practical Steps To Actually Do This

Here are a few questions that will help you spot where fear is steering the wheel:

Journal these — don’t skip.

• What is something I secretly want… but haven’t admitted out loud?

• What am I afraid to try in case I look foolish?

• Where am I censoring myself at work for fear of judgment?

• What opinion am I assuming others have — that I’ve never actually tested?

Then ask:

If I wasn’t worried about being judged… what would I do next?

That question alone can unlock an entirely different career.

Let them have their opinions. They will anyway.

But your career — your purpose — your impact — those are too precious to outsource to other people’s imagined thoughts.

So today — choose one tiny thing that’s yours.

• Say the comment you’ve been sitting on in the next meeting.

• Send the email you’ve been drafting for three days.

• Share the idea.

• Pitch the proposal.

• Or whisper one dream into existence by saying it out loud to someone you trust.

And let that be the start of the Let Me era.

Because you’ve earned the right to be heard.