Managing Stress with the Let Them Theory

Inspired by The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins

This BLOG is an extract from my Career Book Club Podcast, where we explore real strategies for thriving in your career. Each week I share key lessons from some of my favourite career and personal development books, plus real-world stories and practical coaching tips so you can put the ideas into action.

I know some people prefer reading to listening, so I pull the highlights into my BLOG. I hope you enjoy reading — and if you’d like to share some of your favourite books, please get in touch. I love a good recommendation.

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Introduction

When I first heard Mel Robbins talk about the Let Them Theory, I thought, “Oh, that’s interesting… but I’m not sure it can apply at work.”

It made sense for personal relationships — friends, family, the occasional drama you don’t want to get pulled into. But the workplace? That’s different.

At work, you’ve got your reputation to protect. Relationships to manage. Opportunities to hold onto. It feels riskier to simply let people do whatever they’re going to do.

But the more I thought about it — and the more I watched how often we carry stress that doesn’t actually belong to us — the more I realised that this idea might be even more powerful in the workplace than anywhere else.

Here are three everyday moments where this mindset is especially powerful:

🔹 When stress starts before work even begins

🔹 When someone else is in a bad mood

🔹 When your idea gets ignored

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What “Let Them” Really Means

Here’s the thing. Let Them isn’t about giving up or letting people walk all over you.

It’s about drawing a line between what you can control — and what you can’t.

It’s saying, “I can’t control how they act, but I can control how I respond.”

Because so much stress comes from trying to manage things that aren’t ours to fix. We replay conversations, over-analyse tone, or twist ourselves into knots trying to change our behaviour to make people behave differently — and none of it actually works.

That’s where the power of Let Them comes in. It’s a release. A decision to stop holding the emotional rope in a tug-of-war that’s never going to move.

And — Let Them is only half the theory. The second part is Let Me.

🔹 Let Them - releases the noise.
🔹 Let Me - redirects the energy.

It’s not about ignoring people. It’s about choosing yourself — your peace, your focus, your leadership — in that moment.

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When Someone Else Is in a Bad Mood

We’ve all had that moment where someone walks into the office clearly in a bad mood.

They’re short. Irritable. Maybe even passive-aggressive.

And suddenly, your energy shifts too. You feel tense. You start adjusting your tone or second-guessing your words. Without even realising it, you’ve matched their mood.

That’s where Let Them becomes your emotional boundary.

Let Them be in a bad mood. It’s not yours to fix. You don’t need to mirror it or manage it.

Then Let Me — stay calm, stay kind, stay focused.

I personally experienced passive-aggressive behaviour from a senior leader that I was working with, and it was very awkward. Initially I was upset by his behaviour and wondered how I could “fix” the situation.

The thing was, as Mel says, I was not responsible for his behaviour. I need to Let Them be the unprofessional and Let Me focus on knowing that I was not the problem.

When you stop absorbing other people’s emotions, you don’t just protect your energy — you model emotional maturity. You show up as the steady one in the room.

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When Your Idea Gets Ignored

This one’s tough.

You finally speak up in a meeting — share an idea you’ve been thinking about — and it lands with a thud. Silence. The conversation moves on.

Then someone else puts forward a proposal… and suddenly the room lights up.

It stings. And if you’re like most people, your mind starts spinning.

🔹 “Did I say it wrong?”
🔹 “Do they not respect me?”
🔹 “Maybe I should just stay quiet next time.”

But here’s where Let Them changes everything.

Let Them move on or choose a different option.

Their reaction doesn’t decide your value.

Let Me — take a breath. Consider asking for feedback after the meeting on what other people thought of your idea and how you pitched it. Use it as a learning exercise – just don’t dwell on it and let that one moment make you feel less confident speaking up.

Your ideas still matter — whether or not they get applause in the room.

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When Stress Starts Before Work Even Begins

Sometimes the stress starts before you even walk into the office.

🔹 You might be frustrated because your child won't finish their breakfast.

🔹 Angry at the idiot who cut you up on the drive in.

🔹 Impatient with the barista who was taking ages to pour a simple coffee.

🔹 Irritated by the noise coming from the headphones of the idiot sitting next to you on the train.

You're emotionally drained and it's not even the start of the working day yet. Each one feels small — but add them up, and you’re already stressed before the day’s begun.

That’s were Let Them quietly saves your morning.

Let Them be slow.
Let Them be impatient.
Let Them live in their own little world.

Let Me — decide how I want to show up today.

Maybe that means taking a deep breath, putting on a podcast, or choosing not to give away my calm.

Because you always have that choice — even when it doesn’t feel like it.

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Let Them — Then Let Me

That’s really what this whole mindset comes down to.

Let Them is the boundary.
Let Me is the leadership.

Let Them isn’t weakness — it’s clarity. It’s the choice to stop reacting and start responding.

🔹 You don’t have to absorb someone else’s emotions.
🔹 You don’t have to manage every situation.
🔹 You don’t have to fix what isn’t yours.

You can simply notice it — and decide who you want to be in that moment.

That’s real power.

This week, try it.

Pick one thing that usually gets under your skin — one pattern that always leaves you frustrated.

Catch it in real time.

Say, Let Them.
Pause.
Then ask, Let Me — what do I want to do now?

Because not everything deserves your emotional energy.

Your peace is far too valuable to spend on things you can’t control.

If this BLOG resonated, I’d love to hear how it lands for you — message me on LinkedIn or send me a quick email.

And join me next week, when we dive into a topic that might feel uncomfortably familiar — the fear of other people’s opinions, and how it quietly shapes the way we show up at work.